Aug. 1 2017 –  Pepper’s Ole Fashion BBQ has been robbed.  However, it hasn’t been ransacked in the traditional bandit sense as this crime has nothing to do with a burlap sack and a emptying cash register.  Instead, the meat thieves (I don’t believe it was a one person heist) possibly caught a whiff of what pit master and proprietor Daniel Morgan calls the “meat smell”.  Rather than pilfer a few selected cuts, the meat thieves decided to latch Pepper’s tow-behind-pit-BBQ, as it was already skillfully cooked many sides of brisket.

Yes, Morgan is shocked and almost disbelieving this happened.  He understands what the “meat smell” can do to any man or woman who happens to catch a whiff of the alluring and mouth-watering smell, but he just cannot understand why they took his mobile restaurant and catering apparatus.

I agree that the beef bandits hit Morgan where it hurts the most, but the masterful BBQ chef extraordinaire is not contemplating the answer to the most important BBQ-heist question:

“How else were the brazen brisket bandits going to make off with all of that meat?”

I mean, this is industrial-level meat thievery.  The calculated nature of the theft reveals that the thieving meatheads carefully considered several factors:

1) How can we steal the greatest amount of meat?

2) How can we do it quickly?

3) Who makes the best brisket?

Well, the way to steal a large amount of meat is to discover the densest storage vessel for keeping the meat.  A meat locker would be an obvious suspect; however, it’s not on wheels. Our meat thieves were not so foolish as to attempt to toss a chain around a meat locker, attach it to their truck’s bunker, and drive away (a la the brainless burglars who try and steal an ATM machine using the same method, only to lose their bumper–and likely their identifying license plate–in the process of speeding away).  A tow-behind BBQ is both mobile and capable of being loaded up with copious amounts of mouth-watering meat.  And, as far as who makes the best brisket in Albuquerque: it’s clear Pepper’s is any beef bandit’s choice.

It’s not my place to debate right and wrong.  However, it is my place to discuss meat thievery.  Obviously, the execution was precise.  It’s likely a pair meat thieves hopped out, latched and locked the tow, and were on their way.  And, more obviously, beef brisket done right is delicious.  But, I don’t believe they just stole brisket.   I’m sensing there were ribs, pork butt, and, if these meat thieves were extra lucky, hot links on there.  The Possession Receiver loves hot links.

Pepper’s appears to have mastered the BBQ process of beef brisket, avoiding the usual overcooked and dry brisket found elsewhere.  I’m thinking the original reporter, Matthew Diebel, does not appreciate BBQ, as his article does not cover any of the important aspects of this baffling heist.  Diebel was likely just sent out on assignment because he was a warm body.  Hell, he could be vegan-arian.  What I do know is that Diebel missed out on the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of writing a Pulitzer Prize winning article, if only he had put on his investigative journalist hat and asked the tough questions.

Why didn’t the ABQ cops just follow the salivating “meat smell” to quickly capture the bandits?  Perhaps the cops lack an appreciation for the best beef brisket in ABQ, or perhaps they might lack a sense of smell all together and could not differentiate the one-of-a-kind “meat smell” from all of the other aromas.  But even so, one would *think* that any police officer with half a brain could simply just follow the trail of smoke that the sizzling steaks and baking brisket left in their wake.  C’mon. These meat thieves were literally towing around a 1,700 pound smoking BBQ pit filled with the most unbelievable tasting meats that would make any red-blooded human swoon.  It’s no wonder that the thieves didn’t have a horde of people trailing them in a zombie-like trance, heads aloft and noses sniffing their way to their next delicious meal.

The need to steal a $5800 Pit BBQ is shocking.  This tells me the meat thieves either had a spot for it in their yard, or they “knew a guy” .  Still, being a meat thief is not about taking someone’s kitchen.  It’s about taking another person’s meat when they aren’t looking. Any meat thief has likely already weighed the benefits versus the consequences before endeavoring on a meat heist and is at peace with the idea of some possible jail time later in exchange for a chance to enjoy a carnivorous delight now.  It is possible Mr. Morgan has been a meat thief at some point in his life, as he understands quite well that the “meat smell” can make men do funny things.  A meat thief can call upon his meat memory to summon the “meat smell” anytime.  It’s like a perverse bat signal to the mind.

Of note: This meat thievery is baffling in its own right.  But consider this. The thieves did not take off with the most important and priceless stuff Pepper’s owns: the knowledge of how to prepare and perfectly grill a savory brisket like Pepper’s, and they definitely did not obtain Pepper’s own secret sauce recipe.  So with that, good luck to you, meat thieves.  You might have gotten away with the giant BBQ and a load of meat, but that meat ain’t gonna grill itself. Enjoy your dry, underwhelming brisket.

This investigation remains ongoing (unlike the stolen brisket).

Source: http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/story/news/nation/2017/08/01/police-hunt-thieves-who-stole-1-700-pound-barbecue-popular-restaurant-while-cooking-brisket/528186001/